Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I finally made it through the woods of funk and blues of this weekend to get back on track with creativity. I previously had been at my work desk just staring at my materials and had no drive whatsoever to create anything....and that was kind of scary as I rarely feel that way. Usually, I can talk my way out of it or find some inspiration to jump start my heart, and bounce right back. This was different.
It was sort of how J.K. Rowling described the Dementors in her Harry Potter books, that if you are not careful they can suck the soul out of you. But, in a way going through that kind of pain can make you have a clear understanding of who you really are. I'm thinking too, that it might be a case where my emotions are so vulnerable right now, as I don't cover them up with drugs or alcohol (even the prescription kind)so everything is so RAW.
I'm just having to do the hard but necessary groundwork to get back on track again without any chemical "influences". I know it is not fair to say all that and not mention some things that I'm going through...but believe me...it would tax the most determined fair maiden! Just think....bad economy....joblessness.....possible future homelessness....running two business making zero money.....relatives moving away leaving me alone in this town....you get the picture!
With all that being said I am here and doing better and ready to take on the world again with a fresh new perspective. It will be a hard climb, but I will just need to be determined more than ever.
This jewelry pic is my latest project in the theme of Yoga Meditation and I created it as a gift for myself. Sort of a belated birthday present as a couple weekends ago I did not get a chance to celebrate it. The necklace has a lot of personal things such as token fabrics to remind me of someone special, embroidery threads from Scotland my heritage land, honey comb bee nest toggle clasp as I like honey a lot! Kind of lets me know that I am worthy of being loved, either by myself or anyone else that might enter my life. It's the gift of self love...like Whitney Houston sang years ago...The Greatest Love of All.......is happening to me.....learning to love yourself...