Pirate Choker

This is my latest project in Etsy. If you want to see my shop just press the Etsy badge to the right. I'm having fun scavenging the North Carolina Coast looking for re-cycle-able materials that floated up. I'm getting more in tune with the environment as I have been composting now for at least 3 years all my vegetable waste in the kitchen...mind you....it takes almost that long for it to compost down in mine as there is virtually no air flow...too lazy to turn it with a pitch fork. It would actually be better in a garden tumbler to get it going...throw in a couple tiger worms and Bob's your uncle, I've got compost. I can ditch ever getting another bag of peat from Home Depot just to start my garden off in the Spring!

Starting to get the hang of my Dremel tool I got the other day. No, I did not find the hot tool guy in Lowe's last night, as I sped in there kind of late...like 5 min. before closing time! So I ran around to locate my diamond bit to get through the blasted tough ass material like shell and beach pebble. I've learned a technique of dribbling a little water on the widening hole from time to time...so it does not heat up as much...and put the speed on medium. This was suggested by my current boyfriend who is in the construction business. He even knew that I need eighth of an inch bit...smart guy. We are gonna get along just fine. Now he knows what to get me for my birthday...more tools.

Just got a new toy yesterday! Want to create jewelry from hemp and natural found objects such as beach pebbles, beach glass and shells! I should have purchased a diamond bit. But, I went ahead and used a multipurpose bit and started drilling on a shell and it almost caught on fire! The bit started glowing a dark red...good thing I stopped when I did or else the pressure would have broken off the bit....plus it would have probably bounced right into my eye and gone searing straight through my cerebral cortex. There would go my crafting with two eyes in tact....I would have to rename my shop The Crafty Pirate or thereabouts!

I guess I'll need to frequent the Lowe's tool department and break it down...by asking for help from, hopefully a nice looking virile male tool assistant who knows a little something about drilling holes in objects with a smoking red hot drill bit.....sorry my mind was drifting somewhat. Anyhow, check back with me to see whether or not I burnt down this establishment with my new masculine type tool....need to start getting some compound pharmacy estrogen treatments as I'm starting to ask for Tim the Tool Man type of gifts rather than jewelry or perfume. RARRRRR RARRRRR RARRRRR RARRRRR!

Chark's Crisis Garden!

Here is my crisis garden! I call it crisis garden as food prices are going up with the price of gas and they have the nerve to put it into smaller packages! I am livid. But, when you really need a garden to flourish that's when the plagues of the Bible invade the garden all at one time. For example: It' taken forever to see any fruit growth on my zucchini....it stayed at one inch for 2 weeks until I nuked it with miracle grow. I was trying to stay with the organic variety of fertilizer but it takes longer to "kick in" so I had to relent and use chemical fertilizer which will "zing" it into a growth spurt.

On top of that I've got another Organic garden in the back toward the woods, but I get invaded by rabbits and deer who actually munched down my snap peas....which were growing quite good...had it growing up some branched out twigs from my wood pile...until those rascally vermin came along and nipped off the tops...I went out there and exclaimed that it was not so bad as it was only the tops...in fact it might make it grow better and branch out...but they came back the following night and finished the job and ate the whole lot! There goes my nights of stir fried snap peas coated in a sweet and sour sauce on rice! It sounds like its going to be stewed fresh rabbit and venison on the menu my dearies!

On top of that all my mustard greens have got huge bug holes in them, my last year's strawberries did not come up this year....they were choked out by the weeds while I had a "real" job and did not have time to pull them out, my tomatoes that I grew from seed died so I had to go down to the local plant store and buy them in. The positive thing is that they seem to be doing well as they have a natural toxin that keeps bugs and fauna away, thank God! At least I can have tomato and mayonnaise sandwiches!

Let me know how everyone else is doing in their gardens while we are enduring the worse financial catastrophe in human history. Hopefully, we will not be all bent down with our long hippie hair flowing around us and eating our chemically "enhanced" lawn as it's the only thing growing in our eco-imbalanced world we live in! Joy to the world...all the girls and boys now...joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea...joy to you and me...

Memorial Day Weekend

Sorry it took so long to post this picture, but I came down with a pretty nasty bug which keeps on trying to invade my lungs!

Yeah, last weekend was a blast out in a friends boat on the NC coastline. There were a lot of crazy drunken boat drivers on the waterway. Most passing on the wrong side, speeding in a no wake zone, making obscene gestures when they think you're going to slow (the "air oar" signal). Hopefully, only the assholes were stuck in the sandbars (comes from speeding during low tide and paying too much attention to the female guests on your boat) needing the rescue tow guys in the yellow or orange boats.

We tried to rescue a small boat stuck on a sandbar, but my friend's boat was getting sand up in his inboard motor so we had to give up after the second attempt. The first attempt at throwing the rope to this guy was a disaster as he let it go trying to pull it back to the boat (loaded with a bunch of drunk girls) and he dropped the rope while he was distracted by one of the "loaded" girls jumping up and down waving her hands in the air. We yelled at him the second attempt to hold on to the rope while we try to back in closer, but he dropped it again thinking he could pull our huge boat towards his little dingy! What a ding bat. We gave up on him just as other Good Samaritans were honing in to help him, or just rescue the girls and leave him stranded!

Sapphire Blue Orb

Here is my latest project I'm working on which involves embedding tumbled glass & other objects into colored concrete tile adhesive. Can be a messy job with sometimes needing to use my hands to smooth out the concrete, so all the hand lotion companies are going to get a boost of sales from me! I'm not that old, but my hands are turning into the "crypt keeper's" hands. Just the other day I put something on E-bay and it required me to use my hands to hold the object and I shrieked when I saw my hands in the viewfinder. Delete....delete...... From now on my daughter will be my hand model.

Alien Orb

I found this while I was gardening in the back yard! Looks like it came out of a UFO....just kidding. I made this garden sculpture to look like it was just ejected from a space craft. I know there is a following out there of science fiction buffs who love this kind of stuff. I'm one of them!

Like a Flapjack

I went to get my first mammogram today. It was not as bad as I thought it would be, but they did flatten out the tissue quite a lot in order to get the x-ray! I asked the nurse whether my breasts were going to stay in the shape of pancakes and she just laughed. They sure get trigger happy with that button that makes the two acrylic panels edge closer and closer, squishing the flesh just enough to make one pay tribute to all those poor folks trapped in any earthquake debris out there. They are recycling stuff at my hospital, so the soft pad looking thing they splayed my breasts on will be saved in a plastic bag until next year. I needed a new mouse pad so I think I found the perfect candidate....well that is still recycling is'nt it?